Weddings and EXPENSES!

I'm getting married in 4 months. Yes. FOUR MONTHS. Actually, as my lovely fiance kept pointing out this past weekend, we're getting married in 3 months and 3 weeks. He obviously is not planning any part of the wedding and I must have been able to hide the utter terror occurring in my brain. I guess practice makes perfect...?

I should probably clarify something here. I am not terrified and freaking out to marry the man. No, actually I'm super excited to marry my best friend who has a knack to drive me insane while making me laugh at the same time. How that is even possible I don't know but he does both quite well.

Anyway, wedding terror and freak outs I believe are common in this world. Not that it makes it right or okay but, I am not alone. To be honest, I am not actually terrified or freaking out. When I think about the fact I haven't order my invitations (or even decided on them!) I cringe a little and ignore that the thought even came into my mind. (College let me perfect my already perfected procrastination techniques, a degree was included with that! ;) ) 

I recently stumbled upon (stumble upon...so 2 years ago) an info graph on Pinterst (duh I found it on Pinterest. If I got paid to be on Pinterest I think I could maintain a pretty darn good salary. If anyone hears of any openings, Pinterest testers or something call me). If you would like to see it, look here! I love these! Mainly because they make me proud of my diamond and feel frugal with my budgeting. And then I look at it more and want to crawl into a hole for a few days and come out post wedding date.

So here are a few of my thoughts... I think what I have been struggling with the most is the money, Money, MONEY. Wedding expenses are INSANE! I will be honest- my parents have been generous and I appreciate all they have provided. That being said, the average wedding costs $27,000. What!? That's a lot of $$$. Why are weddings so expensive? Now someone can argue with me that I'm just not finding the cheapest options. I would like to disagree... According to that infograph, the cheapest state average for weddings is $11,000. I'm sorry but really? Why does the cheapest state average have to be the same amount of a nice used car? It's a day...one special DAY. 

The infograph also says the average number of guests is 140. That's when I laughed out loud and then almost cried. Our number: 360 guests and I'll just say our wedding will costs ABOUT 1/4 of the average. Someone save me! lol 

Enough frustrations about wedding expenses. Time to spend more time on my budget...

What have I been up to...? Who knows!

I fail at blogging. That's what I think about when I see other people's blogs. However, I have realized something- everyone seems to blog about something specific, a theme if you will. And I have just been writing about everything and anything...okay let's be honest, more like absolutely nothing.

So, in order to pick up the blogging 'pen', I will put a focus on my blogs. Perhaps it's more that my life is changing drastically. You see, a little over a month ago I was a college student with three majors and 18 hour semesters. I was a part time worker at a local Catholic bookstore. I was involved in way too many things.

And then, I graduated.

It's true, I made it! (Well, they haven't told me anything otherwise... ;) ) After 19 years of schooling (yes, I counted preschool and kindergarten, don't judge, those were tough years!) I was given a piece of paper (a degree and actually it still has come in the mail yet, lame) and sent off into the real world.

About half of my friends continued their education and the other half is off in foriegn lands doing a couple years of service. And then there is that little group of a couple people...me included who is looking for a job. (please note that I said IS looking- if you hear of anything folks let me know!) Yes, it's true, graduates seem to be postponing real jobs. I completely understand why, it's a not-so-friendly job market out there(...hello mom and dad, thanks for taking me back under your wing...)

Now I could go on and on complaining about my lack of call backs (literally none, and I think I'm a pretty swell gal!). But I'm not going to go there. Instead my life is different than the typical college-grad-move-back-in-with-the-parents kid. I am a military fiancee. I'm not only job hunting but I'm also planning a wedding!

Amongst all my wedding planning research, I've realized there aren't any blogs by military fiancees. (Probably because they are all super busy doing things I should be doing...like planning!) I love reading military blogs because I get better insight on what my life will be like in a few months. So, that is going to be my main focus these days...more like months. Life of a military wife to be! :) We'll see where that takes me...!

The Beauty of Faith

Blog. Fail. Really, I have been failing. Miserably! Now what do I even blog about...? I'll just talk about a few recent experiences at work :)

A couple days ago I was helping a woman find a St. Elizabeth necklace for her daughter who will be making her Confirmation soon. I pointed out the necklace and on it it says "ST. ELIZABETH OF HUNGARY patron of Bakers and Widows". The woman said "Bakers? She's the patron saint of Bakers!?". At first I was taken aback, why was that so upsetting? I guess it is a little strange, her daughter chose a saint who is the patroness of bakers and widows, a little different perhaps but not THAT weird. She continued to laugh to herself and say "Bakers" so I finally told her that St. Elizabeth is probably the patron saint of other things as well. Immediately she stopped me: "No, no, we are Bakers, a lot of things like that keep happening". Needless to say I was lost. I soon realized their last name must be Baker and God must keep putting little things in their lives to show His presence.

At this point I chuckled and said "Well, it appears you guys have your very own patron saint then!". We then went to the next thing she was looking for who was of course, St. Catherine of Siena (my Confirmation Saint and the patroness of my sorority, because God does those things to help us know He's there!). She was telling me all about St. Catherine and as it turned out, her and her daughter were going through RCIA together. St. Catherine is her Confirmation saint. Ahh, it was finally making sense. Then it dawned on me. This woman has such a strong, beautiful desire to learn about the Catholic faith, and me, an old cradle Catholic takes it all for granted. Long story short, this woman reminded me that God is always showing His presence to us, we simply must be on the look out for Him. I also realized the importance of constantly learning. If you stop seeking to learn about your faith, you could lose it.

All the 'God moments' (such as St. Elizabeth being the patron saint of Bakers, some may call the coincidences but I do not think that is always the case...) reminded me of Mary our Mother, she is the Queen of 'God moments'. So I told the woman as she was leaving to watch out, as she develops a relationship with our Mother all of a sudden God is everywhere,

The woman and her daughter are going through RCIA, her daughter is 16. What a beautiful way to enter the Church! Prayers for them and all going through RCIA! Lenten blessings! :)

Komen cuts ties with Planned Parenthood

great explanation from the CEO and founder of Susan G. Komen  msnbc.msn.com


Komen cuts ties with Planned Parenthood. The headlines are everywhere. Planned Parenthood is shocked. I laughed out loud, several times, as I read an article from the New York Times.  I found myself laughing because of the stupidity of the media and their lack of knowledge regarding nonprofits.

I'm going to start off with the statement from Komen Foundation:

"February 1, 2012-  ...some organizations are no longer eligible to receive Komen grants. Some might argue that our standards are too exacting, but over the past three decades people have given us more than just their money. They have given us their trust and we take that responsibility very seriously. ...our focus always and will continue to be the women we serve. ...we are working to ensure that there is no interruption or gaps in services for the women who need our support most in the fight against breast cancer."  (for full statement)

 Before I jump into this topic, let me break down a few basics for nonprofits...Nonprofits apply for grants from foundations, corporations, government, etc. meaning...

1. No nonprofit can assume they will get a grant each year. It's an application, which may change year-to-year. 
2. Receiving grants is not a right. It is a privilege. Let me repeat that one, it is a privilege to receive money from anyone. If a nonprofit wants to change who they give their hard earned money to, they have every right to do so, as long as they stick to their mission.
3. The biggest point I've been taught to obey in nonprofits is to be 'donor-centered'. Think about it, nonprofits don't have owners, they have donors, your donors are giving because they want trust you will put their money in the best interest of the mission...
4. I've always been taught that no nonprofit should ever rely so greatly on a given funder for when the funding stops. It happens all the time, tragic stories of nonprofit organizations doing amazing things when a major donor dies or they do not get a certain grant and baam, no more organization. (don't put all your eggs in one basket, ever heard of it?)

Now let's go back up to that statement... some organizations are not eligible for the grants any longer because  they are changing the applications (it happens, they have the right to change things). They are doing this for the best interest of the organization (focusing on it's mission, being donor centered). They pledged at the end "As we move forward, we are working to ensure that there is no interruption or gaps in services for the women who need our support most in the fight against breast cancer." If you truly desire an end to breast cancer, you will trust Komen knows what is best for breast cancer prevention, as that is their mission (why so much criticizing then people!? They're doing what they feel is best!).

"A spokeswoman for the Komen foundation, Leslie Aun, told The Associated Press that the main factor in the decision was a new rule adopted by Komen that prohibits grants to organizations being investigated by local, state or federal authorities. Ms. Aun told The A.P. that Planned Parenthood was therefore disqualified from financing because of an inquiry being conducted by Representative Cliff Stearns, Republican of Florida, who is looking at how Planned Parenthood spends and reports its money." (I got that from a New York Times article and it had some hard-core liberal media bias. Getting off my soap box now...)

Komen is a foundation who decided to change the requirements of grants. It happens all the time. Yes, even to large nonprofits like Planned Parenthood. It's all part of the 'finance game' for nonprofits. Countless times I've been told in my nonprofit classes: "as a nonprofit, never rely so much on one donor, grant, special event so much that if you were to lose it your organization would fail". Ahh, and why? Because it happens all the time.

The president of Planned Parenthood, Celie Richards explains that “Until really recently, the Komen foundation had been praising our breast health programs as essential, this really abrupt about-face was very surprising. I think that the Komen foundation has been bullied by right-wing groups.” (I got that from the New York Times too...)

Oh, so the fact that Planned Parenthood is being investigated wasn't enough of a reason for a foundation to stop funding you. Last I checked a donor has the right to be protective of the money its donating...and for some reason Komen foundation wants to be sure Planned Parenthood is spending their hard-earned donated money in an efficient, life-saving way. Sorry you're under investigation Planned Parenthood? (sarcasm...)

[sidenote: this current investigation is not the first for Planned Parenthood- what about that one time when the government almost defunded Planned Parenthood completely? Or remember that really sketchy thing that happened in Kansas with those files and Planned Parenthood and then somehow the files were shredded... oh yeah, that didn't make them look like they were hiding anything...Celie Richards, sorry you feel the need to blame 'right-wing groups' for 'bullying Komen' when in reality the nonprofit you are president of is going downhill...(again, sarcasm- I'm not really sorry...)]

March for Life 2012: Planning Woes but God always knows

This past Friday, I got on a bus for what we thought at the time would be a 22 hrs bus ride. No big deal, spend nearly a day traveling on a bus filled with fellow Rockhurst students and Benedictine students. Well, there was ice in IL and IN...lots of ice. We spent 6 hrs moving 8 miles (I say moving because we weren't really driving, it was a roll, slide on ice, roll, etc). Needless to say during the 33 hr bus ride, there were lots of movies, praying, and SUDO-sleeping. 

We got to our hotel, slept a couple hours, and woke up for the Students for Life Conference, the largest Pro-Life Conference in America. It. Was. Awesome. 2,000 college students, woke up at 6-7am to arrive at a conference in which they would learn about abortion, the link between breast cancer and the pill, overpopulation myths, how to help pregnant women on campus, how to help women hurting after abortion, fundraising techniques, and so much more. We learned, we wept, we laughed, and...we learned some more. http://studentsforlife.org/

It was Sunday and after desperate searches for Mass, we found one at Georgetown University. Our bus driver was kind enough to drive us over and wait till Mass was over. It was wonderful being on a Jesuit campus with college students.

Monday morning began with massive chaos, just like all previous days :) We began by heading to St. Alosius for the Jesuit Mass and Rally but the man at the hotel desk was very incorrect on where we needed to be. Needless to say, we were at 20th street and Mass was at 1st street...with fifteen minutes before Mass was to start. We began walking. About halfway through, a seminarian, Stephen, joined us after he said a prayer to God asking for someone to help him find Mass. Stephen missed Mass at the Verizon center so according to him we were his "answered prayer". Stephen is an amazing seminarian, he followed us as we got extremely sidetracked while speaking to the sisters and two Irishmen (one, who was 87, told me he goes to two big events each year the March for Life in DC and the St. Paddy's Day Parade). Once we got back on track, we were walking in Chinatown and found a church named St. Mary's Church. However, they didn't have Mass until noon- it was ten. I decided to poke my head in to see if there was someone around I could ask where a nearby Mass would be. But that would not be necessary as God always provides. :) The priest was getting ready for Mass which would start in a minute. 

It was a Latin Mass in a beautiful Church. After we continued our way to the Mall, stopping at a McDonalds for lunch, where our Seminarian, Stephen paid for us all! He explained that God had blest him with us so it was the least he could do. Well God had blest us as well by giving us him for a few hours! We got to the Mall, listened to the Rally in the cold rain, and marched. 

Before leaving for DC I planned for several hours on where we were going when and how we were getting there. There were countless times I got discouraged, wondering why I planned so much when nothing was going the way I figured out it would. I had forgotten it isn't my will but the Lord's. Usually that would be enough for me, and I would be able to let it all go, this time however, I could not. I couldn't let go of all the work I had done, all the time I used up, I just wanted something to go 'right'. I needed to see God. Looking back on it, God was all around me. God was in the joyful sisters and Irishmen who took us off our path but brought me personally joy in talking to them. God was in the people we meant and gave bagels to. God was even in the many people I asked for directions who mumbled "sorry I don't have time" while briskly walking away. I think in situations like these it's okay to get upset and frustrated, it's okay to be annoyed at the amount of time used to plan, just as long as one is able to sit back and see God at some point in all the chaos. To see that God brought us through all of that so we could find Mass at St. Mary's, so we could see Jesus in the Eucharist, to see God in the loving but lost seminarian, to realize that yes, it is not our will but His. Sometimes the work in which you do for the Lord (all that planning I did) is what He wants but not always used because he has something better in mind. 

I've always heard that when you pray for something, God gives you the opportunity to practice it. God, thank you for the opportunity to practice patience, I shall never pray for it again! ;)

Learn more about the March for Life 2012: a video account by blogger, Bad Catholic
article National Catholic Reporter
P.S. 400,000 Marched for Life...just sayin' :)