Weddings and EXPENSES!

I'm getting married in 4 months. Yes. FOUR MONTHS. Actually, as my lovely fiance kept pointing out this past weekend, we're getting married in 3 months and 3 weeks. He obviously is not planning any part of the wedding and I must have been able to hide the utter terror occurring in my brain. I guess practice makes perfect...?

I should probably clarify something here. I am not terrified and freaking out to marry the man. No, actually I'm super excited to marry my best friend who has a knack to drive me insane while making me laugh at the same time. How that is even possible I don't know but he does both quite well.

Anyway, wedding terror and freak outs I believe are common in this world. Not that it makes it right or okay but, I am not alone. To be honest, I am not actually terrified or freaking out. When I think about the fact I haven't order my invitations (or even decided on them!) I cringe a little and ignore that the thought even came into my mind. (College let me perfect my already perfected procrastination techniques, a degree was included with that! ;) ) 

I recently stumbled upon (stumble upon...so 2 years ago) an info graph on Pinterst (duh I found it on Pinterest. If I got paid to be on Pinterest I think I could maintain a pretty darn good salary. If anyone hears of any openings, Pinterest testers or something call me). If you would like to see it, look here! I love these! Mainly because they make me proud of my diamond and feel frugal with my budgeting. And then I look at it more and want to crawl into a hole for a few days and come out post wedding date.

So here are a few of my thoughts... I think what I have been struggling with the most is the money, Money, MONEY. Wedding expenses are INSANE! I will be honest- my parents have been generous and I appreciate all they have provided. That being said, the average wedding costs $27,000. What!? That's a lot of $$$. Why are weddings so expensive? Now someone can argue with me that I'm just not finding the cheapest options. I would like to disagree... According to that infograph, the cheapest state average for weddings is $11,000. I'm sorry but really? Why does the cheapest state average have to be the same amount of a nice used car? It's a day...one special DAY. 

The infograph also says the average number of guests is 140. That's when I laughed out loud and then almost cried. Our number: 360 guests and I'll just say our wedding will costs ABOUT 1/4 of the average. Someone save me! lol 

Enough frustrations about wedding expenses. Time to spend more time on my budget...

What have I been up to...? Who knows!

I fail at blogging. That's what I think about when I see other people's blogs. However, I have realized something- everyone seems to blog about something specific, a theme if you will. And I have just been writing about everything and anything...okay let's be honest, more like absolutely nothing.

So, in order to pick up the blogging 'pen', I will put a focus on my blogs. Perhaps it's more that my life is changing drastically. You see, a little over a month ago I was a college student with three majors and 18 hour semesters. I was a part time worker at a local Catholic bookstore. I was involved in way too many things.

And then, I graduated.

It's true, I made it! (Well, they haven't told me anything otherwise... ;) ) After 19 years of schooling (yes, I counted preschool and kindergarten, don't judge, those were tough years!) I was given a piece of paper (a degree and actually it still has come in the mail yet, lame) and sent off into the real world.

About half of my friends continued their education and the other half is off in foriegn lands doing a couple years of service. And then there is that little group of a couple people...me included who is looking for a job. (please note that I said IS looking- if you hear of anything folks let me know!) Yes, it's true, graduates seem to be postponing real jobs. I completely understand why, it's a not-so-friendly job market out there(...hello mom and dad, thanks for taking me back under your wing...)

Now I could go on and on complaining about my lack of call backs (literally none, and I think I'm a pretty swell gal!). But I'm not going to go there. Instead my life is different than the typical college-grad-move-back-in-with-the-parents kid. I am a military fiancee. I'm not only job hunting but I'm also planning a wedding!

Amongst all my wedding planning research, I've realized there aren't any blogs by military fiancees. (Probably because they are all super busy doing things I should be doing...like planning!) I love reading military blogs because I get better insight on what my life will be like in a few months. So, that is going to be my main focus these days...more like months. Life of a military wife to be! :) We'll see where that takes me...!

The Beauty of Faith

Blog. Fail. Really, I have been failing. Miserably! Now what do I even blog about...? I'll just talk about a few recent experiences at work :)

A couple days ago I was helping a woman find a St. Elizabeth necklace for her daughter who will be making her Confirmation soon. I pointed out the necklace and on it it says "ST. ELIZABETH OF HUNGARY patron of Bakers and Widows". The woman said "Bakers? She's the patron saint of Bakers!?". At first I was taken aback, why was that so upsetting? I guess it is a little strange, her daughter chose a saint who is the patroness of bakers and widows, a little different perhaps but not THAT weird. She continued to laugh to herself and say "Bakers" so I finally told her that St. Elizabeth is probably the patron saint of other things as well. Immediately she stopped me: "No, no, we are Bakers, a lot of things like that keep happening". Needless to say I was lost. I soon realized their last name must be Baker and God must keep putting little things in their lives to show His presence.

At this point I chuckled and said "Well, it appears you guys have your very own patron saint then!". We then went to the next thing she was looking for who was of course, St. Catherine of Siena (my Confirmation Saint and the patroness of my sorority, because God does those things to help us know He's there!). She was telling me all about St. Catherine and as it turned out, her and her daughter were going through RCIA together. St. Catherine is her Confirmation saint. Ahh, it was finally making sense. Then it dawned on me. This woman has such a strong, beautiful desire to learn about the Catholic faith, and me, an old cradle Catholic takes it all for granted. Long story short, this woman reminded me that God is always showing His presence to us, we simply must be on the look out for Him. I also realized the importance of constantly learning. If you stop seeking to learn about your faith, you could lose it.

All the 'God moments' (such as St. Elizabeth being the patron saint of Bakers, some may call the coincidences but I do not think that is always the case...) reminded me of Mary our Mother, she is the Queen of 'God moments'. So I told the woman as she was leaving to watch out, as she develops a relationship with our Mother all of a sudden God is everywhere,

The woman and her daughter are going through RCIA, her daughter is 16. What a beautiful way to enter the Church! Prayers for them and all going through RCIA! Lenten blessings! :)

Komen cuts ties with Planned Parenthood

great explanation from the CEO and founder of Susan G. Komen  msnbc.msn.com


Komen cuts ties with Planned Parenthood. The headlines are everywhere. Planned Parenthood is shocked. I laughed out loud, several times, as I read an article from the New York Times.  I found myself laughing because of the stupidity of the media and their lack of knowledge regarding nonprofits.

I'm going to start off with the statement from Komen Foundation:

"February 1, 2012-  ...some organizations are no longer eligible to receive Komen grants. Some might argue that our standards are too exacting, but over the past three decades people have given us more than just their money. They have given us their trust and we take that responsibility very seriously. ...our focus always and will continue to be the women we serve. ...we are working to ensure that there is no interruption or gaps in services for the women who need our support most in the fight against breast cancer."  (for full statement)

 Before I jump into this topic, let me break down a few basics for nonprofits...Nonprofits apply for grants from foundations, corporations, government, etc. meaning...

1. No nonprofit can assume they will get a grant each year. It's an application, which may change year-to-year. 
2. Receiving grants is not a right. It is a privilege. Let me repeat that one, it is a privilege to receive money from anyone. If a nonprofit wants to change who they give their hard earned money to, they have every right to do so, as long as they stick to their mission.
3. The biggest point I've been taught to obey in nonprofits is to be 'donor-centered'. Think about it, nonprofits don't have owners, they have donors, your donors are giving because they want trust you will put their money in the best interest of the mission...
4. I've always been taught that no nonprofit should ever rely so greatly on a given funder for when the funding stops. It happens all the time, tragic stories of nonprofit organizations doing amazing things when a major donor dies or they do not get a certain grant and baam, no more organization. (don't put all your eggs in one basket, ever heard of it?)

Now let's go back up to that statement... some organizations are not eligible for the grants any longer because  they are changing the applications (it happens, they have the right to change things). They are doing this for the best interest of the organization (focusing on it's mission, being donor centered). They pledged at the end "As we move forward, we are working to ensure that there is no interruption or gaps in services for the women who need our support most in the fight against breast cancer." If you truly desire an end to breast cancer, you will trust Komen knows what is best for breast cancer prevention, as that is their mission (why so much criticizing then people!? They're doing what they feel is best!).

"A spokeswoman for the Komen foundation, Leslie Aun, told The Associated Press that the main factor in the decision was a new rule adopted by Komen that prohibits grants to organizations being investigated by local, state or federal authorities. Ms. Aun told The A.P. that Planned Parenthood was therefore disqualified from financing because of an inquiry being conducted by Representative Cliff Stearns, Republican of Florida, who is looking at how Planned Parenthood spends and reports its money." (I got that from a New York Times article and it had some hard-core liberal media bias. Getting off my soap box now...)

Komen is a foundation who decided to change the requirements of grants. It happens all the time. Yes, even to large nonprofits like Planned Parenthood. It's all part of the 'finance game' for nonprofits. Countless times I've been told in my nonprofit classes: "as a nonprofit, never rely so much on one donor, grant, special event so much that if you were to lose it your organization would fail". Ahh, and why? Because it happens all the time.

The president of Planned Parenthood, Celie Richards explains that “Until really recently, the Komen foundation had been praising our breast health programs as essential, this really abrupt about-face was very surprising. I think that the Komen foundation has been bullied by right-wing groups.” (I got that from the New York Times too...)

Oh, so the fact that Planned Parenthood is being investigated wasn't enough of a reason for a foundation to stop funding you. Last I checked a donor has the right to be protective of the money its donating...and for some reason Komen foundation wants to be sure Planned Parenthood is spending their hard-earned donated money in an efficient, life-saving way. Sorry you're under investigation Planned Parenthood? (sarcasm...)

[sidenote: this current investigation is not the first for Planned Parenthood- what about that one time when the government almost defunded Planned Parenthood completely? Or remember that really sketchy thing that happened in Kansas with those files and Planned Parenthood and then somehow the files were shredded... oh yeah, that didn't make them look like they were hiding anything...Celie Richards, sorry you feel the need to blame 'right-wing groups' for 'bullying Komen' when in reality the nonprofit you are president of is going downhill...(again, sarcasm- I'm not really sorry...)]

March for Life 2012: Planning Woes but God always knows

This past Friday, I got on a bus for what we thought at the time would be a 22 hrs bus ride. No big deal, spend nearly a day traveling on a bus filled with fellow Rockhurst students and Benedictine students. Well, there was ice in IL and IN...lots of ice. We spent 6 hrs moving 8 miles (I say moving because we weren't really driving, it was a roll, slide on ice, roll, etc). Needless to say during the 33 hr bus ride, there were lots of movies, praying, and SUDO-sleeping. 

We got to our hotel, slept a couple hours, and woke up for the Students for Life Conference, the largest Pro-Life Conference in America. It. Was. Awesome. 2,000 college students, woke up at 6-7am to arrive at a conference in which they would learn about abortion, the link between breast cancer and the pill, overpopulation myths, how to help pregnant women on campus, how to help women hurting after abortion, fundraising techniques, and so much more. We learned, we wept, we laughed, and...we learned some more. http://studentsforlife.org/

It was Sunday and after desperate searches for Mass, we found one at Georgetown University. Our bus driver was kind enough to drive us over and wait till Mass was over. It was wonderful being on a Jesuit campus with college students.

Monday morning began with massive chaos, just like all previous days :) We began by heading to St. Alosius for the Jesuit Mass and Rally but the man at the hotel desk was very incorrect on where we needed to be. Needless to say, we were at 20th street and Mass was at 1st street...with fifteen minutes before Mass was to start. We began walking. About halfway through, a seminarian, Stephen, joined us after he said a prayer to God asking for someone to help him find Mass. Stephen missed Mass at the Verizon center so according to him we were his "answered prayer". Stephen is an amazing seminarian, he followed us as we got extremely sidetracked while speaking to the sisters and two Irishmen (one, who was 87, told me he goes to two big events each year the March for Life in DC and the St. Paddy's Day Parade). Once we got back on track, we were walking in Chinatown and found a church named St. Mary's Church. However, they didn't have Mass until noon- it was ten. I decided to poke my head in to see if there was someone around I could ask where a nearby Mass would be. But that would not be necessary as God always provides. :) The priest was getting ready for Mass which would start in a minute. 

It was a Latin Mass in a beautiful Church. After we continued our way to the Mall, stopping at a McDonalds for lunch, where our Seminarian, Stephen paid for us all! He explained that God had blest him with us so it was the least he could do. Well God had blest us as well by giving us him for a few hours! We got to the Mall, listened to the Rally in the cold rain, and marched. 

Before leaving for DC I planned for several hours on where we were going when and how we were getting there. There were countless times I got discouraged, wondering why I planned so much when nothing was going the way I figured out it would. I had forgotten it isn't my will but the Lord's. Usually that would be enough for me, and I would be able to let it all go, this time however, I could not. I couldn't let go of all the work I had done, all the time I used up, I just wanted something to go 'right'. I needed to see God. Looking back on it, God was all around me. God was in the joyful sisters and Irishmen who took us off our path but brought me personally joy in talking to them. God was in the people we meant and gave bagels to. God was even in the many people I asked for directions who mumbled "sorry I don't have time" while briskly walking away. I think in situations like these it's okay to get upset and frustrated, it's okay to be annoyed at the amount of time used to plan, just as long as one is able to sit back and see God at some point in all the chaos. To see that God brought us through all of that so we could find Mass at St. Mary's, so we could see Jesus in the Eucharist, to see God in the loving but lost seminarian, to realize that yes, it is not our will but His. Sometimes the work in which you do for the Lord (all that planning I did) is what He wants but not always used because he has something better in mind. 

I've always heard that when you pray for something, God gives you the opportunity to practice it. God, thank you for the opportunity to practice patience, I shall never pray for it again! ;)

Learn more about the March for Life 2012: a video account by blogger, Bad Catholic
article National Catholic Reporter
P.S. 400,000 Marched for Life...just sayin' :)

I saw God today...

Today as I pulled into the Church parking lot I saw I man hobbling around the sidewalk, homeless and drunk. And then he fell onto the sidewalk. I decided as I found a parking spot I'd see if he was okay. (Now at this point some people may be thinking 'you are a 21 year old female...careful....', well I was thinking about that too, don't worry. But my theory is if I ever get robbed they're gonna be really disappointed- $3 and a 2yr old free tmobile phone won't make them much money...I'd probably be most disappointed about my coupons and chapstick...) Anyway, so I caught up with the man and asked if he was okay. He said he was but he had been drinking so he had been having a hard time. He then vowed to quit drinking all together because it doesn't get him anywhere. I agreed with him and we chatted a bit. I then noticed he wasn't wearing gloves. We continued our conversation which led to God and his faith in Jesus. He explained how he didn't understand atheists but he secretly tries to explain to them why God is so good, he asked God for forgiveness for being sneaky (I laughed). Throughout this conversation I looked him in the eye. He had such beautiful blue eyes and I decided to give him my gloves. Unfortunately they were a Christmas present my sister made me (I haven't broke the news to her that I gave away the gloves she spent hours on...eeeeekkkkkk!)


As he put on his gloves, I held his cane, needless to say I had to help him. He then assured me he'd stop drinking because alcohol does no good. He only got one glove on while I was with him because then he started falling asleep so I told him I hoped for the best for him and began walking up the steps to Mass. He then told me I was an amazing person and told me God Bless countless times. As I stepped into Church, there was Jesus in the Monstrance and it struck me, I just had a conversation with a (probably) homeless drunkard who now has my sister's mittens (they were too large for me anyway...they fit him like a glove! sorry...couldn't help that pun...). But that man is still a man, just as Jesus helped everyone, we should too. So in a small way, I helped Jesus and I realized all this as I was starring at the beautiful Monstrance hold Jesus. 


This is why I'm Catholic. I seek to see Jesus in every human being. I get to be with Jesus in the Sacrament of the Eucharist everyday if I want. But why don't I? Why don't I help more people in need? Why am I not more charitable? Why do I not always seek God with my whole heart? Or utilize the amazing Sacraments, especially the Eucharist? Lots to ponder on... but for now, I shall work on seeking God in all things.

The Occupy Movement

I know, I know. ANOTHER opinion about the occupy movement. I just want my voice heard. Well, just pretending someone is listening by blogging will work too.

Occupy Wall Street. What the heck? First off, who are these people? And where did they come from? You can't tell me all these people protesting have been laid off work because of the 1%. And even if they were, have they been seeking employment? I somehow don't think they have been since they started protesting so I don't feel sorry for people who are not proactive about improving their lives... yes, a little harsh but it leads me to my next point... (not to toot my own horn but it's my perspective...)

I am a college senior. I'll be honest, my parents helped me pay for school. I still have student loans I will pay off. I chose to go to a private university knowing I would come out with loans. Due to the scholarship money I received this private school tuition costs less than instate tuition. I have worked at the same place all 4 years tutoring underprivileged kids as my work study job. I will graduate with a B.A. in Psychology, Theology, Nonprofit Leadership, a concentration in Fundraising, and a certification from the Nonprofit Leadership Alliance. Because of all of this I have had to take 18hours nearly every semester. I hold multiple leadership positions on campus. On top of my 18 credit hours I have internships to improve my resume. Needless to say, I work hard and do not spend time getting drunk and partying. I will graduate in May with loans but I will not complain, I will pay them off easily because I live modestly. I have a cell phone that only texts with T9 and spend $30 every 3 weeks at the grocery store. I hope to get a job in my field right after school but if I don't I will be open for any job. I made a decision when I decided to get a degree and that decision was that I would be in debt, but I will work hard so it's not for a long period of time.

Yes, I'm part of the '99%'- if you want to look at it that way. But that is just one statistic...

I am also part of the 1% in the world because I have a computer and will have a college degree. I am part of the 34% of the world with a cell phone. I am part of the 83% who have access to safe drinking water.
And the craziest part of it all? I am part of the 5% from the United States, who have 32% of the entire world's wealth.

As Americans, we are the 5%. And to think, the rest of the world could start protesting against us saying they are the 95%. Put things in perspective, and be a little more grateful this Thanksgiving for what we do have, not what we don't have...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Alright, so I haven't blogged in way too long! I want to get back into this though...but so much has happened, what to write about!?.... I'll just start with what's on my mind! duh...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I can't even recall how many times I was asked that question in grade school. Teachers, parents, friends- all asking that same question over and over. I remember I had a phase in kindergarten when I wanted to be a veterinarian. I didn't even like animals but that's what my friend wanted to be so I just went with it. Then in about 6th grade I wanted to be a nurse. But that was only for that year. Other than those two grades, I always said the same thing "When I grow up I want to be...successful.".

Alright, so obviously I wasn't creative enough to make something up and write down something cool...

But now...now I'm all 'grown up' and I'm a senior in college looking at the next year wondering why I couldn't have written down something better than 'to be successful'. What does that even mean!? I'll give myself some credit though, 'being successful' is more plausible than being a dolphin trainer or an astronaut (no offense to everyone in my 2nd grade class...)

Now it is time for my great plan of 'being successful' to be put in place since my age indicates I'm grown up (even if I act like a 5 year old at times...). So that leads me to an important question: What is success?

After pondering this easy and yet very complicated question, I realized it means all different things to all different people. It could mean having a million dollar house, with a boat, a BMW and whatever else people with million dollar houses would have. That's certainly not what it means to me. To me, success is being happy. I remember teachers would ask me to expand upon my response of 'being successful'. I'd always tell them I just wanted to be happy. Yupp, still the same answer. Success to me is being happy, living in the moment, loving without holding back, trusting God and believing in yourself. Success is found in love, if you love you will be on the right track to happiness.

Now that's just my opinion. What do you want to do when you grow up? What does success mean to you?

The Annunciation: Mary's Yes

I've been reading this wonderful book called The Reed of God. Dang. If you're looking for a good spiritual read, this is it! Okay, well I've only read 4 chapters thus far...but they are really good chapters!

Well, this wonderful book got me thinking about Our Mother, Mary and most especially the Joyful Mysteries. I plan to have a reflection over all the decades but I'm going to start out with one near and dear to my heart, the Annunciation.

"Mary gave her consent of faith at the Annunciation and maintained it without hesitation at the foot of the Cross" (CCC 2674)

Before I pray the Rosary, sometimes I look up the recommended scripture component to refresh my mind as to what I should be focusing on while I pray. When I did this, it showed me Luke 1:30-33 which begins with the angel asking Mary to not be afraid for "[she] has found favor with God" (Luke 1:30). Gabriel then explains that Mary will conceive and bear a Son, Jesus who will be "great and will be called Son of the Most High and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father" Luke 1:32-33.

It amazes me that this is all that is included in the Annunciation. Well yes, that seems to sum up the main part but there's so much more to the story! Mary was afraid of the angel Gabriel, sent by God. "It is God himself who, through his angel as intermediary, greets Mary" [CCC 2676, 722]. God, (with the help of His angel as mediator) surprises Mary by his presence. [I must say I would be in shock if an angel appeared to me...if only Mary knew what message the angel was bringing...!] Mary in response, ponders at the greeting (Luke 1:29). Long story short, Mary is unsure if this is truly God coming to her.

The angel explains everything to Mary (Luke 1:31-33) but she then begins asking questions. Yes, Mary, Our Mother, is confused and even unsure of the message from the angel. She questions God as to how His plan will work (Luke 1:34). The angel explains the great mystery of the conception of Jesus (Luke 1:35-37) as the Holy Spirit will come upon Mary and even Elizabeth will be with child.

Mary was overwhelmed, even afraid of God's presence- and that idea surprises us? Of course she was overwhelmed! An angel just appeared to her explaining she was to become pregnant with the Son of God. Talk about a confusing day... How many times are we afraid of God's presence in our own lives? How often do we not want Him to take over our plans? (personally I don't have enough fingers and toes to count...) Mary questions God's plans because they don't make sense to her (understandable...). but how often do we turn away because God's plans don't seem to fit or don't make sense to us?

We are so blessed that Mary's story does not end with all these questions. After these few questions (I would be asking a lot more questions and doubting the whole plan if I were her! ...hence why I'm not...!) Mary says her beautiful yes: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word" Luke 1:38. Mary gave herself up, surrendered herself completely to God's will. "Mary, because of her faith, became the mother of believers, through whom all nations of the earth recieve him who is God's own blessing..." (CCC 2676) Mary's yes helps us all grow closwer to her Son. "...we can entrust all our cares and petitions to her: she prays for us as she prayed: 'Let it be to me according to your word' by entrusting ourselves to her prayer, we abandon ourselves to the will of God together with her: 'Thy will be done.'" (CCC 2676)

If God brings you to it...

The other night I jumped into bed at 5 am, nothing completely out of the ordinary for me. Although usually my head hits the pillow and I'm asleep before I can even get to the first Our Father on the Rosary...yeah, that quick! However that night all I could think about was the paper I hadn't finished, the meetings I forgot to schedule, the t-shirts I needed to order, the letters and emails I never wrote...blah blah blah. Next thing I knew I was completely overwhelmed and felt defeated. I felt the need to say a quick random prayer honestly so I could just hurry up and fall asleep. This is how it went:

Dear God,
Why can't you make SOMETHING in my life work out!? I'm busting my butt here, why can't...

Then I stopped.

I just sat dumbfounded. What was I saying? Why was I so angry? Why was I so angry at my God nonetheless!? He's the last person who wants to see us suffer, because He loves us so much. And yet here I was, taking it all out on Him. I know he can take it, but He certianly doesn't deserve it.

Yes, I had just sacrificed my entire weekend, literally canceled everything to work on a paper in which (at that point in time) I was very unsure if I would be able to finish in time. And we all know that if you can't write a paper then you are automatically a failure at life ...because that's logical.

But, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been in this same position.

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out, 

it's the grain of sand in your shoe.

As humans, it is so easy to look at a huge task and assume we can't do it. We assume are are not adequate enough for the job and lose all hope and desire to even begin the task, nevertheless complete it. But why do big tasks turn impossible? Perhaps it's all based on the way we view the situation- it's the grain of sand in your shoe. For me, the problem wasn't the paper, but rather my attitude toward the paper (or the grain in my shoe) that was hindering me.

Don't pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back. -Unknown-

The secret is that I'm still struggling. I still get frustrated when I work so hard and nothing happens or when things become too much and I just want to give up. Long story short, I had to pull an all-nighter Monday so I could turn in my paper Tuesday. At about 5am when the deliria was setting in (and I only had 4 hours till class) I realized I was fighting God the entire time. I did not feel I could finish it and I felt worthless-I couldn't accept love. The whole time God was trying to embrace me and show His love for me but I was the kid kicking and screaming, trying to get loose so I could finish the paper on my own.

If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it.

be the change you wish to see...

"Are you married?" "No" "You should be..." "Why should I be?" "cuz you should have a kid! Do you have a kid?" "No, do I look old enough to be married and have a kid?" "yeah, you should have one kid with a bunch more on the way!...you should marry Michael Jackson." "what? he's dead" "yeah, well you should still marry him" "But he's dead." (another kid chimes in)"You should marry my dad!" "why should I do that?" "'Cuz he's dead...well maybe you shouldn't" "what? I shouldn't what? (I was perplexed)" "no, you shouldn't marry my dad, cuz then you'd be my mom"

This is one of the 4 conversations (concerning the question of me being married) I had within the first 10 minutes at work study today. You're probably wondering what I do to be asked these things! Well, I tutor inner city elementary kids, mainly the kindergarten and first graders. I do community work study, meaning I get paid by the government (just like regular work study) but I tutor kids from the area. I have been doing this for 3 years now and unfortunately there are only 2 kids who have stayed with the program since I've been here. I'll talk about them some other time I'm sure, I have something else on my mind...

All those questions in the beginning about marriage is typical. Other questions they usually ask are "You got a boyfriend?" or "How many kids you got?". Most days work is tough, I've become desensitized to their talk about people on their 'hit list' (yes, kindergarteners and first graders), the constant fighting, the nasty phrases/curse words. Most of these kids come from broken homes, no dad or they have the millionth boyfriend living with them. Very few read at home or do anything at home other than try to stay away from the drugs, alcohol and abuse.

The point of this blog is not to bring you down. Instead, it's a story of hope and success. :) There is a kindergartener (I'll name him C) who, at the beginning of the year, I would send him to the 'office' within the first ten minutes of class. He wouldn't sit still, he was always fighting, stealing, yelling. He didn't care when he was in trouble and would talk back like he was king of the world. I'd send him to the 'office', I'd move him to the corner, I made him stand in the hall and we had a stern talk (about 10 different times), etc. After many failed attempts, I realized, this wasn't working.

I then began a new strategy. I decided I'd make C my little 'project'. So, I would work with him more often than the other kids. I realized he really enjoys sharpening pencils (I can't blame him) so, during one of his "I hate you" tantrums, I told him he'd have to shape up or else he wouldn't be able to sharpen his pencil. (strange incentive but hey, it worked) After weeks of pencil sharpening, and patience, I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever have the patience to sit down long enough to read or if he'd be like the fourth grader reading at a kindergarten level.

Well, today, I saw quite the improvement! I was listening to 3 other kids read and he came over to me with Dr. Seuss' 'The Foot Book'. He began reading it, asking for help in a few places. He got about halfway through when he started dancing to the rhythm of what he was reading. I was so proud of him. He was standing there, dancing and really excited to read! The kid who always yelled "NO!" when I asked him to sit down was actually reading! After he finished reading, he told me he was going to read it 7 times. I was just happy he read it once but he actually did read it 7 times!

Looking back on my journey with him this year, I remember the days I thought it was hopeless. He'd talk about dropping out of school when he was older and joining a gang. He challenged me, I challenged him. He was once uncontrollable and would push me to my limit. Now he is voluntarily reading a book 7 times. It's amazing what a little (okay, a LOT) of patience and just showing a kid you care can do.

Do I know if he'll go to college? Do I know if he'll graduate high school? For all I know he could join a gang, do drugs, and end up in jail. If all the other encouragement I give him fails, at least I know he'll be literate. To me, that is a success. For now. :)

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." -Chinese Proverb-

So, I challenge all of you to show someone who may be struggling that you care. You never know, you may inspire them to do great things!

PS Sorry this is so long! I just didn't know what to cut out! :)

Let Go, Let God

Just for a second, imagine a world in which everyone viewed everything that was given to them was from God. God has quite the plan for every single person in this world. When something happens- good or bad -what if we looked at the situation as a gift from God?

I know it's easier said than done, but why not?

Every time it rained my freshman year, I would get so annoyed. I just didn't want to get my socks wet and have that obnoxious feeling of wet sock all day. One rainy day I decided to just take off my shoes and socks to avoid this problem. It was pouring, no umbrella, so I just ran in the rain barefoot. I realized how much I had been missing as a ran through the muddy grass. I stopped, letting the mud seep in between my toes and I just thanked God for such a wonderful gift of rain. Ever since then, I walk barefoot around campus when it's raining so I will remember to embrace God's gift instead of getting frustrated.

Rain is simple. You get wet. You go home, jump in the shower and put on some clean dry clothes and it's like it never happened. But what about much larger issues?

I know I personally don't have the ability to stop the rain when it's time for me to walk to class. Larger situations are the same way, there is simply nothing we can do to fix it. If we can't fix it, why do we instead let the problem gnaw at us, making us angry and worry?

Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Why not trust Him with our problems more often? What if we heard bad news and simply looked to God, asking "What now God? This is the problem, this is why I'm upset, what do You want me to do?"

Let nothing trouble you, let nothing make you afraid. All things pass away. God never changes, patience obtains everything. God alone is enough. St. Teresa of Avila

I'm not saying this is easy, nor am I saying I am able to deal with situations in this manner. Getting upset and angry are part of being human. What I am saying is perhaps this is an outlook on life we (myself included) should strive for.

The Lord himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still. Exodus 14:14

A little bit about me...

I feel like in order to start this, I should have a little intro or something. So, here's a little bit about me and what I plan on doing with this blog :) This may be considered more of a reference page than anything!

• I believe a smile (and ice cream) can cure anything. It's a simple little way to spread God's love to the world!
• I am obsessed with quotes, there will be an innumerable amount all over this blog. It will become excessive I can assure you.
• I have been thinking about starting a blog for about a year now. I was convinced no one would read it. I am now willing to take that risk and at least tell myself people are interested...
• My thoughts have to do with one of the many things I'm involved in so here's some things I do:
• I'm a Catholic who loves Mary!
• Work Study: tutor inner-city elementary school kids, yes, I have lots of stories
• Pro-Life work within the Diocese and at school
• FOCUS Bible Study, CLC, etc
• Sorority- Theta Phi Alpha
• Majors: Theology, Psychology, Nonprofit Leadership

Well, I believe that is enough boring stuff about me! I hope this helps any readers out there understand who I am and why I'll be writing about what I'll write about! :)