The Occupy Movement

I know, I know. ANOTHER opinion about the occupy movement. I just want my voice heard. Well, just pretending someone is listening by blogging will work too.

Occupy Wall Street. What the heck? First off, who are these people? And where did they come from? You can't tell me all these people protesting have been laid off work because of the 1%. And even if they were, have they been seeking employment? I somehow don't think they have been since they started protesting so I don't feel sorry for people who are not proactive about improving their lives... yes, a little harsh but it leads me to my next point... (not to toot my own horn but it's my perspective...)

I am a college senior. I'll be honest, my parents helped me pay for school. I still have student loans I will pay off. I chose to go to a private university knowing I would come out with loans. Due to the scholarship money I received this private school tuition costs less than instate tuition. I have worked at the same place all 4 years tutoring underprivileged kids as my work study job. I will graduate with a B.A. in Psychology, Theology, Nonprofit Leadership, a concentration in Fundraising, and a certification from the Nonprofit Leadership Alliance. Because of all of this I have had to take 18hours nearly every semester. I hold multiple leadership positions on campus. On top of my 18 credit hours I have internships to improve my resume. Needless to say, I work hard and do not spend time getting drunk and partying. I will graduate in May with loans but I will not complain, I will pay them off easily because I live modestly. I have a cell phone that only texts with T9 and spend $30 every 3 weeks at the grocery store. I hope to get a job in my field right after school but if I don't I will be open for any job. I made a decision when I decided to get a degree and that decision was that I would be in debt, but I will work hard so it's not for a long period of time.

Yes, I'm part of the '99%'- if you want to look at it that way. But that is just one statistic...

I am also part of the 1% in the world because I have a computer and will have a college degree. I am part of the 34% of the world with a cell phone. I am part of the 83% who have access to safe drinking water.
And the craziest part of it all? I am part of the 5% from the United States, who have 32% of the entire world's wealth.

As Americans, we are the 5%. And to think, the rest of the world could start protesting against us saying they are the 95%. Put things in perspective, and be a little more grateful this Thanksgiving for what we do have, not what we don't have...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Alright, so I haven't blogged in way too long! I want to get back into this though...but so much has happened, what to write about!?.... I'll just start with what's on my mind! duh...

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I can't even recall how many times I was asked that question in grade school. Teachers, parents, friends- all asking that same question over and over. I remember I had a phase in kindergarten when I wanted to be a veterinarian. I didn't even like animals but that's what my friend wanted to be so I just went with it. Then in about 6th grade I wanted to be a nurse. But that was only for that year. Other than those two grades, I always said the same thing "When I grow up I want to be...successful.".

Alright, so obviously I wasn't creative enough to make something up and write down something cool...

But now...now I'm all 'grown up' and I'm a senior in college looking at the next year wondering why I couldn't have written down something better than 'to be successful'. What does that even mean!? I'll give myself some credit though, 'being successful' is more plausible than being a dolphin trainer or an astronaut (no offense to everyone in my 2nd grade class...)

Now it is time for my great plan of 'being successful' to be put in place since my age indicates I'm grown up (even if I act like a 5 year old at times...). So that leads me to an important question: What is success?

After pondering this easy and yet very complicated question, I realized it means all different things to all different people. It could mean having a million dollar house, with a boat, a BMW and whatever else people with million dollar houses would have. That's certainly not what it means to me. To me, success is being happy. I remember teachers would ask me to expand upon my response of 'being successful'. I'd always tell them I just wanted to be happy. Yupp, still the same answer. Success to me is being happy, living in the moment, loving without holding back, trusting God and believing in yourself. Success is found in love, if you love you will be on the right track to happiness.

Now that's just my opinion. What do you want to do when you grow up? What does success mean to you?

The Annunciation: Mary's Yes

I've been reading this wonderful book called The Reed of God. Dang. If you're looking for a good spiritual read, this is it! Okay, well I've only read 4 chapters thus far...but they are really good chapters!

Well, this wonderful book got me thinking about Our Mother, Mary and most especially the Joyful Mysteries. I plan to have a reflection over all the decades but I'm going to start out with one near and dear to my heart, the Annunciation.

"Mary gave her consent of faith at the Annunciation and maintained it without hesitation at the foot of the Cross" (CCC 2674)

Before I pray the Rosary, sometimes I look up the recommended scripture component to refresh my mind as to what I should be focusing on while I pray. When I did this, it showed me Luke 1:30-33 which begins with the angel asking Mary to not be afraid for "[she] has found favor with God" (Luke 1:30). Gabriel then explains that Mary will conceive and bear a Son, Jesus who will be "great and will be called Son of the Most High and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father" Luke 1:32-33.

It amazes me that this is all that is included in the Annunciation. Well yes, that seems to sum up the main part but there's so much more to the story! Mary was afraid of the angel Gabriel, sent by God. "It is God himself who, through his angel as intermediary, greets Mary" [CCC 2676, 722]. God, (with the help of His angel as mediator) surprises Mary by his presence. [I must say I would be in shock if an angel appeared to me...if only Mary knew what message the angel was bringing...!] Mary in response, ponders at the greeting (Luke 1:29). Long story short, Mary is unsure if this is truly God coming to her.

The angel explains everything to Mary (Luke 1:31-33) but she then begins asking questions. Yes, Mary, Our Mother, is confused and even unsure of the message from the angel. She questions God as to how His plan will work (Luke 1:34). The angel explains the great mystery of the conception of Jesus (Luke 1:35-37) as the Holy Spirit will come upon Mary and even Elizabeth will be with child.

Mary was overwhelmed, even afraid of God's presence- and that idea surprises us? Of course she was overwhelmed! An angel just appeared to her explaining she was to become pregnant with the Son of God. Talk about a confusing day... How many times are we afraid of God's presence in our own lives? How often do we not want Him to take over our plans? (personally I don't have enough fingers and toes to count...) Mary questions God's plans because they don't make sense to her (understandable...). but how often do we turn away because God's plans don't seem to fit or don't make sense to us?

We are so blessed that Mary's story does not end with all these questions. After these few questions (I would be asking a lot more questions and doubting the whole plan if I were her! ...hence why I'm not...!) Mary says her beautiful yes: "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word" Luke 1:38. Mary gave herself up, surrendered herself completely to God's will. "Mary, because of her faith, became the mother of believers, through whom all nations of the earth recieve him who is God's own blessing..." (CCC 2676) Mary's yes helps us all grow closwer to her Son. "...we can entrust all our cares and petitions to her: she prays for us as she prayed: 'Let it be to me according to your word' by entrusting ourselves to her prayer, we abandon ourselves to the will of God together with her: 'Thy will be done.'" (CCC 2676)

If God brings you to it...

The other night I jumped into bed at 5 am, nothing completely out of the ordinary for me. Although usually my head hits the pillow and I'm asleep before I can even get to the first Our Father on the Rosary...yeah, that quick! However that night all I could think about was the paper I hadn't finished, the meetings I forgot to schedule, the t-shirts I needed to order, the letters and emails I never wrote...blah blah blah. Next thing I knew I was completely overwhelmed and felt defeated. I felt the need to say a quick random prayer honestly so I could just hurry up and fall asleep. This is how it went:

Dear God,
Why can't you make SOMETHING in my life work out!? I'm busting my butt here, why can't...

Then I stopped.

I just sat dumbfounded. What was I saying? Why was I so angry? Why was I so angry at my God nonetheless!? He's the last person who wants to see us suffer, because He loves us so much. And yet here I was, taking it all out on Him. I know he can take it, but He certianly doesn't deserve it.

Yes, I had just sacrificed my entire weekend, literally canceled everything to work on a paper in which (at that point in time) I was very unsure if I would be able to finish in time. And we all know that if you can't write a paper then you are automatically a failure at life ...because that's logical.

But, I'm sure I'm not the only one who has been in this same position.

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out, 

it's the grain of sand in your shoe.

As humans, it is so easy to look at a huge task and assume we can't do it. We assume are are not adequate enough for the job and lose all hope and desire to even begin the task, nevertheless complete it. But why do big tasks turn impossible? Perhaps it's all based on the way we view the situation- it's the grain of sand in your shoe. For me, the problem wasn't the paper, but rather my attitude toward the paper (or the grain in my shoe) that was hindering me.

Don't pray for a lighter load, pray for a stronger back. -Unknown-

The secret is that I'm still struggling. I still get frustrated when I work so hard and nothing happens or when things become too much and I just want to give up. Long story short, I had to pull an all-nighter Monday so I could turn in my paper Tuesday. At about 5am when the deliria was setting in (and I only had 4 hours till class) I realized I was fighting God the entire time. I did not feel I could finish it and I felt worthless-I couldn't accept love. The whole time God was trying to embrace me and show His love for me but I was the kid kicking and screaming, trying to get loose so I could finish the paper on my own.

If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it.

be the change you wish to see...

"Are you married?" "No" "You should be..." "Why should I be?" "cuz you should have a kid! Do you have a kid?" "No, do I look old enough to be married and have a kid?" "yeah, you should have one kid with a bunch more on the way!...you should marry Michael Jackson." "what? he's dead" "yeah, well you should still marry him" "But he's dead." (another kid chimes in)"You should marry my dad!" "why should I do that?" "'Cuz he's dead...well maybe you shouldn't" "what? I shouldn't what? (I was perplexed)" "no, you shouldn't marry my dad, cuz then you'd be my mom"

This is one of the 4 conversations (concerning the question of me being married) I had within the first 10 minutes at work study today. You're probably wondering what I do to be asked these things! Well, I tutor inner city elementary kids, mainly the kindergarten and first graders. I do community work study, meaning I get paid by the government (just like regular work study) but I tutor kids from the area. I have been doing this for 3 years now and unfortunately there are only 2 kids who have stayed with the program since I've been here. I'll talk about them some other time I'm sure, I have something else on my mind...

All those questions in the beginning about marriage is typical. Other questions they usually ask are "You got a boyfriend?" or "How many kids you got?". Most days work is tough, I've become desensitized to their talk about people on their 'hit list' (yes, kindergarteners and first graders), the constant fighting, the nasty phrases/curse words. Most of these kids come from broken homes, no dad or they have the millionth boyfriend living with them. Very few read at home or do anything at home other than try to stay away from the drugs, alcohol and abuse.

The point of this blog is not to bring you down. Instead, it's a story of hope and success. :) There is a kindergartener (I'll name him C) who, at the beginning of the year, I would send him to the 'office' within the first ten minutes of class. He wouldn't sit still, he was always fighting, stealing, yelling. He didn't care when he was in trouble and would talk back like he was king of the world. I'd send him to the 'office', I'd move him to the corner, I made him stand in the hall and we had a stern talk (about 10 different times), etc. After many failed attempts, I realized, this wasn't working.

I then began a new strategy. I decided I'd make C my little 'project'. So, I would work with him more often than the other kids. I realized he really enjoys sharpening pencils (I can't blame him) so, during one of his "I hate you" tantrums, I told him he'd have to shape up or else he wouldn't be able to sharpen his pencil. (strange incentive but hey, it worked) After weeks of pencil sharpening, and patience, I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever have the patience to sit down long enough to read or if he'd be like the fourth grader reading at a kindergarten level.

Well, today, I saw quite the improvement! I was listening to 3 other kids read and he came over to me with Dr. Seuss' 'The Foot Book'. He began reading it, asking for help in a few places. He got about halfway through when he started dancing to the rhythm of what he was reading. I was so proud of him. He was standing there, dancing and really excited to read! The kid who always yelled "NO!" when I asked him to sit down was actually reading! After he finished reading, he told me he was going to read it 7 times. I was just happy he read it once but he actually did read it 7 times!

Looking back on my journey with him this year, I remember the days I thought it was hopeless. He'd talk about dropping out of school when he was older and joining a gang. He challenged me, I challenged him. He was once uncontrollable and would push me to my limit. Now he is voluntarily reading a book 7 times. It's amazing what a little (okay, a LOT) of patience and just showing a kid you care can do.

Do I know if he'll go to college? Do I know if he'll graduate high school? For all I know he could join a gang, do drugs, and end up in jail. If all the other encouragement I give him fails, at least I know he'll be literate. To me, that is a success. For now. :)

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." -Chinese Proverb-

So, I challenge all of you to show someone who may be struggling that you care. You never know, you may inspire them to do great things!

PS Sorry this is so long! I just didn't know what to cut out! :)

Let Go, Let God

Just for a second, imagine a world in which everyone viewed everything that was given to them was from God. God has quite the plan for every single person in this world. When something happens- good or bad -what if we looked at the situation as a gift from God?

I know it's easier said than done, but why not?

Every time it rained my freshman year, I would get so annoyed. I just didn't want to get my socks wet and have that obnoxious feeling of wet sock all day. One rainy day I decided to just take off my shoes and socks to avoid this problem. It was pouring, no umbrella, so I just ran in the rain barefoot. I realized how much I had been missing as a ran through the muddy grass. I stopped, letting the mud seep in between my toes and I just thanked God for such a wonderful gift of rain. Ever since then, I walk barefoot around campus when it's raining so I will remember to embrace God's gift instead of getting frustrated.

Rain is simple. You get wet. You go home, jump in the shower and put on some clean dry clothes and it's like it never happened. But what about much larger issues?

I know I personally don't have the ability to stop the rain when it's time for me to walk to class. Larger situations are the same way, there is simply nothing we can do to fix it. If we can't fix it, why do we instead let the problem gnaw at us, making us angry and worry?

Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Why not trust Him with our problems more often? What if we heard bad news and simply looked to God, asking "What now God? This is the problem, this is why I'm upset, what do You want me to do?"

Let nothing trouble you, let nothing make you afraid. All things pass away. God never changes, patience obtains everything. God alone is enough. St. Teresa of Avila

I'm not saying this is easy, nor am I saying I am able to deal with situations in this manner. Getting upset and angry are part of being human. What I am saying is perhaps this is an outlook on life we (myself included) should strive for.

The Lord himself will fight for you; you have only to keep still. Exodus 14:14

A little bit about me...

I feel like in order to start this, I should have a little intro or something. So, here's a little bit about me and what I plan on doing with this blog :) This may be considered more of a reference page than anything!

• I believe a smile (and ice cream) can cure anything. It's a simple little way to spread God's love to the world!
• I am obsessed with quotes, there will be an innumerable amount all over this blog. It will become excessive I can assure you.
• I have been thinking about starting a blog for about a year now. I was convinced no one would read it. I am now willing to take that risk and at least tell myself people are interested...
• My thoughts have to do with one of the many things I'm involved in so here's some things I do:
• I'm a Catholic who loves Mary!
• Work Study: tutor inner-city elementary school kids, yes, I have lots of stories
• Pro-Life work within the Diocese and at school
• FOCUS Bible Study, CLC, etc
• Sorority- Theta Phi Alpha
• Majors: Theology, Psychology, Nonprofit Leadership

Well, I believe that is enough boring stuff about me! I hope this helps any readers out there understand who I am and why I'll be writing about what I'll write about! :)