be the change you wish to see...

"Are you married?" "No" "You should be..." "Why should I be?" "cuz you should have a kid! Do you have a kid?" "No, do I look old enough to be married and have a kid?" "yeah, you should have one kid with a bunch more on the way!...you should marry Michael Jackson." "what? he's dead" "yeah, well you should still marry him" "But he's dead." (another kid chimes in)"You should marry my dad!" "why should I do that?" "'Cuz he's dead...well maybe you shouldn't" "what? I shouldn't what? (I was perplexed)" "no, you shouldn't marry my dad, cuz then you'd be my mom"

This is one of the 4 conversations (concerning the question of me being married) I had within the first 10 minutes at work study today. You're probably wondering what I do to be asked these things! Well, I tutor inner city elementary kids, mainly the kindergarten and first graders. I do community work study, meaning I get paid by the government (just like regular work study) but I tutor kids from the area. I have been doing this for 3 years now and unfortunately there are only 2 kids who have stayed with the program since I've been here. I'll talk about them some other time I'm sure, I have something else on my mind...

All those questions in the beginning about marriage is typical. Other questions they usually ask are "You got a boyfriend?" or "How many kids you got?". Most days work is tough, I've become desensitized to their talk about people on their 'hit list' (yes, kindergarteners and first graders), the constant fighting, the nasty phrases/curse words. Most of these kids come from broken homes, no dad or they have the millionth boyfriend living with them. Very few read at home or do anything at home other than try to stay away from the drugs, alcohol and abuse.

The point of this blog is not to bring you down. Instead, it's a story of hope and success. :) There is a kindergartener (I'll name him C) who, at the beginning of the year, I would send him to the 'office' within the first ten minutes of class. He wouldn't sit still, he was always fighting, stealing, yelling. He didn't care when he was in trouble and would talk back like he was king of the world. I'd send him to the 'office', I'd move him to the corner, I made him stand in the hall and we had a stern talk (about 10 different times), etc. After many failed attempts, I realized, this wasn't working.

I then began a new strategy. I decided I'd make C my little 'project'. So, I would work with him more often than the other kids. I realized he really enjoys sharpening pencils (I can't blame him) so, during one of his "I hate you" tantrums, I told him he'd have to shape up or else he wouldn't be able to sharpen his pencil. (strange incentive but hey, it worked) After weeks of pencil sharpening, and patience, I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever have the patience to sit down long enough to read or if he'd be like the fourth grader reading at a kindergarten level.

Well, today, I saw quite the improvement! I was listening to 3 other kids read and he came over to me with Dr. Seuss' 'The Foot Book'. He began reading it, asking for help in a few places. He got about halfway through when he started dancing to the rhythm of what he was reading. I was so proud of him. He was standing there, dancing and really excited to read! The kid who always yelled "NO!" when I asked him to sit down was actually reading! After he finished reading, he told me he was going to read it 7 times. I was just happy he read it once but he actually did read it 7 times!

Looking back on my journey with him this year, I remember the days I thought it was hopeless. He'd talk about dropping out of school when he was older and joining a gang. He challenged me, I challenged him. He was once uncontrollable and would push me to my limit. Now he is voluntarily reading a book 7 times. It's amazing what a little (okay, a LOT) of patience and just showing a kid you care can do.

Do I know if he'll go to college? Do I know if he'll graduate high school? For all I know he could join a gang, do drugs, and end up in jail. If all the other encouragement I give him fails, at least I know he'll be literate. To me, that is a success. For now. :)

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime." -Chinese Proverb-

So, I challenge all of you to show someone who may be struggling that you care. You never know, you may inspire them to do great things!

PS Sorry this is so long! I just didn't know what to cut out! :)